searching for a guide through life

aiight. i need to get out of this feeling. i dunno. i feel just, blah… i was considering not going to the first holland jam tonight. i mean, ever since i found out about it i just figured i’d go. like it wasn’t even anything to consider, i was going.. now, i’m like.. well maybe i’ll stay here and have a quiet night and watch a lil tv or one of the TWO dvds i have and get up on some assignments. but what will i probably be doing tonight. sweating in the extra hot holland gym.

and then tomorrow i have to get up early to get on the bus to DC for the hu vs hu game. yeah, i have the bus ticket and not an actual game ticket. but once again, i got that blah feeling and i don’t even care if i make it in the game.. yes, i do want to watch the game but i don’t know if that better or my other option. my parents and sister are driving down to DC and we could just chill in the city. i mean, i could go SHOPPING (with my parents’ money) and eat a GOOD meal at some restaurant and just chill… that sounds so good you don’t know. and my mom was like maybe we’ll even drive you back down so that’s cool. i have yet gotten to really go through the city of hampton and see what it’s about. that feels CRAZY. living in a city that i haven’t even seen, staying up within the gates of hampton university..

oh and tell me this.. why am i 3 states away from my “old life” and i STILL be thinking about those boys back home…. ugh……. yeah, especially “the one” whom i never really got closure over despite my last words to him being goodbye. what is so “good” about GOODbye???? maan… really.. ok, anyways, i should get downstairs and see about going to the cafe before it closes..


::edit:: i noticed it was in the 6 o’clock hour and so i turned on BET for 106 & Park and right when the commercials came off i had a minor shock seeing everything different… i just wasn’t thinking and i haven’t watched tv, let alone 106 & Park and a long time and for reasons beyond me i was expecting to see Free and AJ there. by the way, when did AJ and Maxwell cut off their hair???? why didn’t i know this when it happened????? i can’t know what’s going on in the world?? lol. i want to do something else with my hair.. i love my hair though… the throwback song on 106 & Park is “I Can” by Nas…. maaaan, i miss them boyz…  ::

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