searching for a guide through life

i’m going to do my homework later, seriously, i promise..

i swear, i think imma end up loving hampton just because of some of the people here. i’ve come across such a unique blend of wonderful ppl already. i’m glad i’m here. i think imma learn soo much outside of the classroom forreal. speaking of classes, i finally got the last of my books today. “got ya, bitch!” lol. my most anticipated event of 2005 right now is selling back them books at the end of the semester.. maaan.. but if i take french next semester, i’ll already would have books for two classes coming into second semester so that’s straight.. that means three classes worth of books and gym… speaking of gym, i really want to go and work out but it’s like when i feel like it, i don’t have the time and when i have the time, i don’t feel like it. it’s a conspiracy. i’ll just have to find ways to work out in my room i guess. single rooms are nice.. lol.

so… i think i’m deciding not to try to be on hampton script this year, or this semester. i’ve never written for a newspaper before and i don’t want to just be thrust into it…. although that’s the perfect way to grow and to learn.. it’s just that sometimes i think i’m not too comfortable with my stuff yet. i’ve mentioned in earlier entries that i haven’t written in a long time and it’s so true. the last thing of significance was what – my salutatorian speech? and that was something i had to do.. since i was young, everyone has completed me on my writing.. or atleast talked about it. that was my thing. that is my thing – my first love. but i was really going to just sidetrack all of that. i took science classes senior year and put bio down on my college apps.  i was heading on this straight path to what i could have done, successfully, but i was ignoring my heart so bad. so then i made the decision to go back to writing as a serious career choice, but i’m holding myself back soo much with my doubts and worries. i lost my novel idea. i’m not joining the hampton script, i didn’t go to the spoken word thing on tues and i dont think i can go tomorrow either… i haven’t even contacted scripps howard yet. i’m slacking. but like everything, it’s one day at a time. things will come into place.

while writing is my first love in one mind frame – on the subject of the other type of love…. ::sigh:: lol. i can’t say that i want a boyfriend cuz that’s not necessarily it.. it’s more like.. i wouldn’t mind having one… i REALLY wouldn’t mind.  i don’t feel like mentioning my particular thoughts about particular guys here on campus cuz i just don’t want to get into that right now.. i’m sure it’ll come up later though. but yeah…. and then there’s the ghost of crushes past still coming back to visit me e’ry now and then. but whateva.. well, whateva with the exception of one…. (i STILL can’t let it goooo… maaaaan ) mmm.. i just wanna…. yeah….

but changing the subject entirely – sometimes i just want to blowdry my hair straight to see what it’d look like.. well, actually that thought just came to me today when i realized i do have a blow dryer here. (and i have NO room for my books yet.. they are seriously an issue.. haha) but i dunno.. tomorrow will be my three week anniversary since i got it cut.. awwww.. haha. i love my hair, don’t get me wrong. it’s just that i cut it right before i moved here (it used to be shoulder length) and i never got to experiment or anything with it properly. haha. mrs. roberson says i should get locs. i think imma get kinky twist extensions over winter break. oh, speaking of winter break, i am actually looking foward to being back home just so i can work! lol. i don’t have a job set up anywhere.. and no, i am most definately not talking about working at AES.. but i even feel like working at the Hamilton Mall now.. haha.. HAHA.. oh my.. but really. i need some MONEY. being a college student is expensive, no joke.. and i’m on scholarship.. damn, i couldn’t do it any other way, i think.

oh, and i need some magazines!! random.


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