searching for a guide through life

i LOVE the diversity in people… imagine how boring life would be if we were all the same. so i challenge anyone reading this to not let differences stand in the way of getting to know somebody. never go by first impressions. and just choose to love regardless. i think life is so much better when you are filled with positive thoughts instead of negative.

soooo… last night was.. interesting. lol. interesting is my new word of the week. i will use it to describe everything.. haha.. so, i came back from my last class around 7:30.. went upstairs to my room. laid down a lil cuz my stomach started to hurt.. went to Patricia’s Bible study, which always ends up making me think and adding something to my soul… then, ::sigh:: i went down to my room, watched a little tv, tried to study – but my mind was too unfocused on school… i tried to read a magazine, because at this point i was in my distracted mode and i just needed something to help rechannel my thoughts but nah… so i went online and starting chatting with Carm but she had to go… and then i saw Mo was on so i just had to talk.. i had to vent.. ::sidenote – i’m not usually one to vent to other people. i either keep it all in or i write. i’m not one to always go and blab out my feelings to someone else. and mo always accuses me of being vague, which is something i must admit, i’m a master of:: ANYWAY, so i started of asking her when she fell in love with Ron and how did she know it was love… yes, i’m STILL on that same subject.. yes, i will probably always be. so the next thing i know, i’m sitting at my computer crying and sniffling and laughing, yep – actually laughing at myself for how crazy i am because i’m stay stuck on this all the time and it’s actually kinda pitiful. and i admitted to her that i didn’t want anything else, anybody else, i wanted Corey.. how childish is that? but i told her that he is someone from a lifetime away – a past life ago.. but i’m still affected. so, thus, this is what i’m praying for – i need to fully let go and let God. I need to trust in Him to make things right. and He will.

so, i was trying to sleep at midnight, after about a forty minute un-preannounced dorm meeting (that i was already not in the bestest of moods when i got down there), but i got up to write down this new poem cuz i had these lyrics in my head. i’m always proud of myself when i consciously write because i feel like i should be writing a lot more.. and especially when i write poetry, cuz i love poetry but i feel as though i’m not anywhere close to really being great at it yet. so anyway, i wrote something untitled. another love poem, of course. and then i went to sleep actually thinking of new ways to revive an old novel idea of mine. how amazing.. i need to start writing everyday though and not just on xanga. lol. i have to give myself projects or activities or writing assignments to do. and then after i start really writing, i need to share my works with others for feedback.

hahah – technically, i’m still a bio major. how crazy is that?

“i’m loving a dream, cuz you’re not my reality”


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  1. awww… i wanna  read ur new poem…
    internet’s down, has been for a couple days… im using ur pc on the landline now… ehhh
    ur commin home today!!! haha i have to get hw done and clean before that. but i’m so excited!!!eek! uncle bob just left, he’s on his way… see ya tonight! wake me up if i’m sleep, k?? love you!!! ❤

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