i LOVE the diversity in people… imagine how boring life would be if we were all the same. so i challenge anyone reading this to not let differences stand in the way of getting to know somebody. never go by first impressions. and just choose to love regardless. i think life is so much better when you are filled with positive thoughts instead of negative.
soooo… last night was.. interesting. lol. interesting is my new word of the week. i will use it to describe everything.. haha.. so, i came back from my last class around 7:30.. went upstairs to my room. laid down a lil cuz my stomach started to hurt.. went to Patricia’s Bible study, which always ends up making me think and adding something to my soul… then, ::sigh:: i went down to my room, watched a little tv, tried to study – but my mind was too unfocused on school… i tried to read a magazine, because at this point i was in my distracted mode and i just needed something to help rechannel my thoughts but nah… so i went online and starting chatting with Carm but she had to go… and then i saw Mo was on so i just had to talk.. i had to vent.. ::sidenote – i’m not usually one to vent to other people. i either keep it all in or i write. i’m not one to always go and blab out my feelings to someone else. and mo always accuses me of being vague, which is something i must admit, i’m a master of:: ANYWAY, so i started of asking her when she fell in love with Ron and how did she know it was love… yes, i’m STILL on that same subject.. yes, i will probably always be. so the next thing i know, i’m sitting at my computer crying and sniffling and laughing, yep – actually laughing at myself for how crazy i am because i’m stay stuck on this all the time and it’s actually kinda pitiful. and i admitted to her that i didn’t want anything else, anybody else, i wanted Corey.. how childish is that? but i told her that he is someone from a lifetime away – a past life ago.. but i’m still affected. so, thus, this is what i’m praying for – i need to fully let go and let God. I need to trust in Him to make things right. and He will.
so, i was trying to sleep at midnight, after about a forty minute un-preannounced dorm meeting (that i was already not in the bestest of moods when i got down there), but i got up to write down this new poem cuz i had these lyrics in my head. i’m always proud of myself when i consciously write because i feel like i should be writing a lot more.. and especially when i write poetry, cuz i love poetry but i feel as though i’m not anywhere close to really being great at it yet. so anyway, i wrote something untitled. another love poem, of course. and then i went to sleep actually thinking of new ways to revive an old novel idea of mine. how amazing.. i need to start writing everyday though and not just on xanga. lol. i have to give myself projects or activities or writing assignments to do. and then after i start really writing, i need to share my works with others for feedback.
hahah – technically, i’m still a bio major. how crazy is that?
“i’m loving a dream, cuz you’re not my reality”