searching for a guide through life

so, i’m sitting here with a brand new disposition from the last time i updated. i’m  now again..

lol. just sitting here listening to this gavin degraw song on repeat and wanting a drink SO badly. again. haha. a NON-ALCOHOLIC drink of course. i’ve been extra thirsty these days. mannn..

<< oh, i dyed my hair. it’s just like a reddish rinse. faint but cool, nonetheless >>

anyway, kids – the letter of the day is “S”. so it’s sex, shopping, and suenos (espanol for dreams) tonite.

putting it in reverse —

— los suenos…
so yes, the other day my mood was sucky.. and i was thinking about what my purpose in life was if i had one at all. and on top of things, i’ve been going through this bad wave of insomnia – leaving me too much time to think. so i lay in bed sleepless and when i finally get to get to sleep i have these dreams and all i can still remember about them is that they had writing and children in them.
so.. i guess i still have somewhat of a purpose out there waiting for me to fulfill. i remember last year, this time i was fully set on going to college for bio and becoming a physical therapist and all.. living out that life. but somewhere alone the way, i made this decision that i would see if dreams could come true and i decided to follow my first love and take my chance at this writing thing.. and although, actually, i’m still a lot leery of making this happen, things worth starting deserve some kind of an ending. so yeah.. still lovin’ a dream…

— shopping…
today we did some shopping again.  i’m a bookstore whore. i believe i was in three today. yes, AC is now cool with me again cuz it has Borders at The Walk. oh, sidenote: also saw the 40/40 club for the first time. either i haven’t been to AC for a while or i’m just not observant.. probably the latter of the two.. lol. well, it’s by Caesar’s if that matters to anyone in the future… but so anyways.. visited my dress in Macy’s. ha. i swear, i want that thing. it looks so beautiful on me and that means A LOT to me cuz i certifiedly (lol) HATE dress shopping. there’s only one problem though. it has no support..  and my big chested self would need it. ::sigh:: to be part of the itty bitty committee for a day or two. lol. i love my lovely lady lumps though. (but hate that song)
okk. got sidetracked for a second. brought some presents for the godsisters and some other family and famfriends. bought only ONE book for myself. haha. bought food, of course, and a cute outfit at Charlotte Russe. actually mommy bought that one. yes! it’s like professional chic, i guess. something a lil new for me but cute nonetheless. after Oprah, went out again in search for shoes to go with it, with no luck. interesting times though. the man at barefeet shoes thought me and my mom were just gurlfriends. i tell you my momma looks soo young. and with my haircut i finally look my age and older.. but so, this man and my mother try to convince me to buy boots cuz of course i walk up in there with heels and not winter type footwear. lol. but mr. middle aged man ends up asking me what hotel i’m staying in – since of course, we used my living in virginia as the reason for my footwear.. lol.. and i proceed to tell him that i’m staying with my mother – aka, this woman i’m shopping with.. lol. he couldn’t believe it. then he stopped hanging around me and flirting (?).. haha.. avoiding me like i was jailbait. haha. funny.

— sex.. it’s seems like the season changed to winter and so everybody wants some. haha. but everyone’s coupling up. i wonder if that has more to do with it being cold out now or maybe it’s just been enough amount of time for ppl to stay single. or maybe it’s no connection to nothing, just coincidence that everyone started coupling up in the same time frame. but anyway, this section is more about the opposite sex than sex in general (and no, it’s not cuz i’m a virgin and no nothing about said topic. lol). sidenote: anyone who wants to buy me the collector’s set – the complete set – of Sex in the City on DVD – i’d love them for life.. haha, that’s my show. anywho… so, mr. monroe goes and gets himself a girl and guess what – the phone calls STOP.  atleast, that’s what facebook tells me. lol. haven’t spoken to said child yet. at first, i was thinking it’s cuz we were on break and with the holidays and all, but it’s probably cuz of the other thing.. the girlfriend.. lol.. and what good is facebook if all i see is a question mark for her pic? haha. but anyways… did something today that made me think of a class i had last semester, which made me think of this guy from class… and i was like “aww, i want to be able to see him next semester on the regular too”…  it’s ironic too, cuz he’s moving into the major that i’m moving out of… i was thinking about facebooking him, but got this fluttery, shy, CRUSH feeling.. realized it was past midnight and though plenty of normal folk facebook all hours of the night, i didn’t want it to be like a “just thinking about u”-during-booty-call-hours message… aHH, i’m so weird. and too old-fashioned and shy.  oh, brother. i need to stop pretending like i’m this little gurl from gradeschool and actually play off my feelings for once.. for real.

ok, tis all, children. time to pretend to go to sleep, but probably actually drink soda and read in my book.


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One thought on “

  1. no mas shopping!! no mas! lol

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