:: Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. <Isaiah 40:30-31> ::
i’ve been avoiding writing this entry.. i’ve been needing to vent, but decided against it. especially on xanga. especially since some ppl actually read my xanga. especially since i actually read my xanga and i hate sounding really negative or depressed or complaining or whatnot. but whatever.
i’ve def been feeling some kinda way lately. and it’s so weird cuz it’s something that i can’t really shake. in class and around others i smile. i’m cool. but when i’m just with me i’m back with my thoughts and my fears. and it’s not exactly the best thing in the world..
last night was…. mmm.. something. i fell asleep with my arms tightly wrapped around my Bible and my Carebare. that was sometime after finding and reading Isaiah 40, which was, i believe, sometime between me calling up my little sister and asking her what i was doing with my life and me crying until my head hurt.
on top of that, i can’t hear out my left ear, which is extremely annoying and somewhat painful and worries me cuz i wish i was home with my mommy to take care of me.
anyway… the source of my issues?? i don’t quite know. it’s def a few things tied into one. like: idon’tknowifipickedtherightcareerchoice,ifi’mcrackeduptothepathi’vechosen,ifi’lleverbein
and so on…
my favorite thing now is sleep. when i’m asleep i don’t have to think or do anything. ugghh, that sounds sooo bad. i know.
i need to get it together and shake it off.
pray for me.