searching for a guide through life

3 weeks. i’ve been home for exactly 3 weeks. wow. it kinda seems like i’ve been here longer than that, but i’ve pretty much accomplished nothing. lol. i still live out my suitcase. i still got all them magazines on the floor. i don’t have a job so i’m still home all day. haha. it’s been a long 3 weeks, but i’m really glad that the time has seemed long. cuz now i have only 5 weeks til texas and imma need for the time in between then and now to go by slow.

i haven’t done much at all in preparations for that…. i haven’t gotten a place to stay. i haven’t sent in my paperwork to get the scholarship money. i dunno. i’m really slacking right now, and it’s not good. a couple days ago, my mom was like “do you even want to go.” i do, i definately do, but i think it’s the whole change thing. and this whole internship deal came rather unexpected. i didn’t apply, i didn’t plan for it… but it was offered to me and it’s such a wonderful opportunity and i accepted. but now i’m stuck over being so far away by myself and all the new challenges that are sure to arrive. sometimes i’m such a coward.

in other news… dot-dot-dot. lol. i love the dot-dot-dots. they usually mean a lot more than what’s written. like i have this friend and we were up yesterday (today) til like 6 in the morning again, talking on the phone and there is soooo much more i could say cuz in my mind, it’s so much more complicated then it is in other ppl’s minds yes, this is mr. monroe. lol.

my godsis wants me to go to this party tonight. i dunno. i think i might have said yes – i really don’t remember – but i’m kinda iffy about the whole thing. first of all it’s 21 and under, but basically i think it’s like a highschool thing. and yeah, it’s only been a year since highschool, but i mean, that’s not really my crowd. like, i’ll hang out with my godsisters and their friends all day and it won’t be no issue. but a club, dancing with 14 year olds… ummm… i guess this is what happens when my best friends are younger than me. lol. plus, we have hook-ups with the radio station, and last time we did something like this, we got in for free and they gave us a limo ride and everything, and i don’t always like all that attention attracted to myself. and last time, my godsis barely danced cuz it was her first time in that kind of environment and she was being all shy and everything. i told her this time i’m just gonna stand around and watch her and she told me it was going to be the other way around. she told me she was going to enter me in this contest for the ladies who could jiggle it the best. (young leek — the guy with the single ‘Jiggle It’ is supposedly gonna be there. he’s from the area. he went to my highschool – a freshman when i was a senior.. these young ppl… lol) but nah… oh and plus mr. monroe might be there… lol. not saying i’m avoiding him or being in certain situations with him, but i’m just saying. lol.

i got this book yesterday that i want to read. it seems interesting. it’s called A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. that whole – our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate – comes from that book. i did a lil background research on it and it seemed interesting enough, so i bought it yesterday. maybe i’ll read it on the plane tomorrow. tomorrow we’re heading down to atlanta for the memorial day weekend. my grandparents are having this big barbeque party. it should be fun. i haven’t been down in college park for a while. and i definately miss my cousins. the oldest one, khalia, i heard she’s like 3 inches taller than me now. i don’t doubt it. she’s seriously gonna be like supermodel tall. she’s only 13 too, so she’ll be still growing. kelsie’s 9 now and poppy’s 6. awww. poppy – aka kevin (lil kevin) is the baby of our family. the youngest grandchild of ALL of us. and he’s already 6, bout to be 7 in sept. i remember helping teaching him to walk. the kid is crazy funny now though. i heard he’s hilarious when he does the robot. lol. i can’t wait to see them all.. i love my family.


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2 thoughts on “

  1. Don’t be afraid of challenges or changes especially this one. It’s for the good. An internship is an excellent opportunity that many people aren’t given the chance to experience. So enjoy your time at home…..handle what you need to handle and goto Texas to make the best of it. Im sure you’ll like it out there. I was nervous about my internship as well but now as the time is approaching I am too souped…..lol. But best of luck

  2. u don’t LET me understand u. it takes two… for any type of relationship, good or bad.  

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