searching for a guide through life

i think i start work tomorrow. i don’t even know what i’m doing. there’s probably only gonna be one other person in the office. i hope i get something to do…

random thought: i think i should start training for a marathon or something. gosh, i gained back nearly all the weight i’ve lost first year. i keep seeing all these commercials on tv about take this pill or that pill and you’ll lose x amount of weight in x amount of weeks… and yeah, i’ve thought about it, but i don’t think it’s something i’ll ever do. i dunno. it’s kinda like cheating. lol. and it’s probably really not healthy, ya kno. but i would like to lose some weight. i’ve been too lazy to work out, but in actuality, i really do love working out. i like sweating. i like when my muscles hurt afterwards. i like testing myself and pushing my limits. i miss crew. i miss running miles with nicole and testing on the erg and power tens on the lake. i miss basketball (even though i can’t play). lol. i miss the aggression, i miss the trash talking, the fun, the flirting…

ok, so anyway… i need to cut my hair. just trim the ends rather. i rather do it at home instead of paying someone who doesn’t even understand my hair. my hair kinda curls up on itself at the ends somehow and i get a little tiny knot at the end of a single strand… interesting…

man, life has been pretty interesting lately. we were up in new york yesterday. long island. hempstead, freeport, queens. it feels like it’s been forever since the last time i was up there. yeah… but my godsisters’ grandma had this program because she’s taking over this new military position or whateva and then we went to a cookout at their house. i saw my godparents while we were at the program. wow. i really haven’t seen them in forever.. probably almost since my grandparents moved to college park. we also saw my godsisters friends, one of which is in my class at hu. i got to hear alisha answer about a zillion times that her graduation was the day before, that drew university is in upstate new jersey, and that she moves in on the 31st for orientation. lol. i don’t miss those days. but grownups are still a trip. i was bragged about for having a 4.0 and for getting the internship opportunity in texas. i was asked several times about what my major was and what i wanted to do with that. gosh. what if i told everybody that i truly am not sure exactly what i’m doing with my life. haha. and then left it at that. oh, but yeah, so i end up finding out that my godsisters’ second cousin is the current president of the national chapter of nabj.. craziness. i never put the two and two together because they have such a common last name but this time it turns out there is a relation. i was talking to his mom and she was telling me i should go network and everything… sigh.. me and my antisocial self.

hmmm… i think i’m due to fall in love soon. haha. let’s see. 12… 16… yeah 20 should be next.. gosh, i can’t believe i’ll be 20 soon. i’m definately getting old. too old for the type of life i live. no one even thinks i’m 19. not even me. i remember like when i was 15 and had prematurely convinved myself i was 16. now i’m 19 and when ppl ask me my age, i’m like, 18, no um, 19… haha. and of course with my baby face ppl think i’m like 14. gosh. but yeah, about that love thing… hahahaha.

guess what? i still think about corey.  my godsis slapped me with a napkin yesterday when i said i thought he was cute. oh, and she just found out today the corey she went to school with was the same corey as firstlove. oh, and yeah. he has kids – plural. haha

i haven’t written (outside of xanga and stuff) in a billion kagillion years… that can’t be good.

pray for me!



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