searching for a guide through life

ok – can i do a real update now?

it seems like it’s been a long time since i electronically vented about my life… well, outside of facebook messages to my best friend and a completely random myspace blog. but yeah… i’m back.

soooo…. i guess i’m waiting for Thanksgiving break to start just like every other student across America. well, not everybody. my cousin goes to UVA, and they’re already off. she came back to va beach for the week and stopped by to visit me before going home. we went out to eat and catch up and realize how old we are getting. we really are getting old… time is a trip…

we also talked about relationships a little.. quite a bit is changing in my life along that forefront. and usually, i save the guy talk for the end of my journal entries, but i definately haven’t been doing things the “usual” way in life these days. like all this male attention coming out of nowhere all at once. and then my relationship with this one guy… mannnn. i like him and he likes me. and everything’s been very fast with us, but surprisingly i feel so comfortable around him. it’s just that… i always tend to overthink things and be too apprehensive about things. i can see that i’m letting my guard down with him, but i still kinda wish things were more… defined, i guess. like, i’m looking for a relationship. i don’t just want to be some girl. and i don’t want him to be just some guy. it’s hard enough with our schedules to get together and then there’s this month long winter break staring me in the face. but i’d like to work things out with us. i really would. but right now we’re just taking things as they’re coming..

speaking of how things are coming… my schoolwork is coming at me full force. this is why i don’t have a lot of random spare time to just chill with my new friend. this past week has been crazy/horrendous in terms of schoolwork and today is no exception. in fact, since i didn’t do much homework so far this weekend, i’m gonna be working my head off today. and i still need to find time to talk to this other boy and let him know that we can only talk as friends cuz there’s someone i’m interested in in my life. (gosh – i hate doing that. that’s why i haven’t been able to talk to him this past week…) internship app deadlines are coming up. i’m still not sure what i want for this summer. originally, i had wanted to stay home and work at an internship nearby… but now.. i’m not quite sure about things right now.

in other news – the countdown to my birthday is starting up. hahaha! i’ll be twenty years old in a little less than 4 months. and i want to go somewhere to celebrate!!! originally i was thinking Brazil but most recently it’s been Spain. then my sister calls me up yesterday and says that they (the family) might be going to the Philippeans and Bankock (sp?) over my Spring Break/Birthday weekend. and i mean, i know that that’s great and would be a great travel experience. but those destinations are more of my sister’s dream destinations. and although i didn’t quite know for sure who i’d want to join me for my birthday celebration, i wasn’t quite thinking my entire family as in parents and grandparents included. so i don’t know. i suppose we’ll discuss more once i get home.. which will be in about 2 more days… yippie skippie!!!

ok — off to more homework and procrastination.


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  1. yippie skippie? seriously, nicole? that was so muppet babies.

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