so… i’m home.
i’m back in new jersey. back to the place i’ve called home for about 15 years. yet, as i get older, the idea of home becomes less and less solid for me. and that’s something that i’m dealing with.
being home’s been cool. got to hang out with the family – all of us. my mom, dad, sister AND brother. so that’s cool. got to eat, drive, shop, get things without paying, wake up late, take showers without shower shoes… it’s been great. yesterday i got to hang out with my best friend since 6th grade. we saw DeJa Vu (the best movie, ever!) and then went to Johnny Carino’s for appetizers. and it’s weird ’cause although we talked about the new happenings going on with us – nothing’s changed between me and her. and it’s wonderful that way.
you know what’s weird. i’ve been sick ever since i’ve been home. not i-have-a-cold sick. but just being home has put my body off. my allergies, my skin, my stomach. it’s all off for some reason. it’s strange. i wonder if that’s suppose to tell me something.
or maybe i’m just reading too much into things that aren’t really there. like… this guy hasn’t called me. and normally, that shouldn’t be so much of a big deal. but in this situation, it kind of is… and once i get back to Hampton, we’re going to have to talk. because i can’t keep reading in between lines that aren’t there.
and i can’t keep denying myself what i deserve. because i’ve been doing that for much too long now.
so. until later.