searching for a guide through life

i’m getting myself a journal.

haha. how many times have i said this? yet i continue to write in this xanga, huh? but whatever.

word of 2006 – “whatever”

so ANYWAY – on the recent happenings.. still on the grind getting myslef together for summer 2007. internship apps and whatnot. i’ve been rethinking my career choices.. current interests outside the field of journalism – being an editor, a literary agent, or a librarian. yes, a librarian. and yes, i am so serious about that. ask about it.

he called me back.  and yeah, he’s really moving and i’m really not moving in with him. haha. i realize i have no idea what’s to come with us. and maybe i should try to find out. or maybe i should take things as they come. it’s funny how life is.

so, ok.. i’m finally thinking perhaps i should jump on the bandwagon and be excited about going home for break. haha. well, i am looking foward to going to Atlanta cuz i was thinking about my crazy lil cousins today and realize that i miss them bunches. we’d only be there for like a day and a half, but still. it’s definitely worth it.

definitely. that’s the correct spelling. not definately, like i’ve been spelling it forever.

ok, ok. i’m a word geek.

have i mentioned i want to go to Brazil for my 20th bday/spring break?? lol. ok, totally random, but hey. and isn’t there a thing about speaking things into existance??

don’t you ever wish sometimes that you could be the fix to every problem? well, every is tough. but you know what i mean? my buddy is having a tough time right now. do i know because we’ve spoke recently? no. but i know from his facebook and myspace activities as well as just because i know him. and yes, he often brings negative outlooks to certain situations and dwells on the bad. but that doesn’t mean that there’s ever a time where i don’t feel pain for his pain and wish that everything could be better again. and the thing is… perhaps i could make it better. could in a totally hypothetical, it’s logically possible but would never happen way. because when it comes to matters of the heart, you can’t make yourself love someone in that way or get someone to love you in that way… it’s tough. and frustrating. cuz i think i can never be that girl that he needs. even though i love him. relationships, huh? craziness..

well. i need to get my beauty sleep.

i haven’t seen my roommate in the longest.




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