searching for a guide through life

favorite song of the week: Circles by Marques Houston

i’ve been wearing my “wedding ring” lately. not that it really matters. but i have been.

i decided i’m gonna not stress about my hair anymore and probably just keep wearing it natural except maybe for special occasions. like if i go up for the alpha cab, which i’m really not feeling like going to anymore. but i think my friends want to go… but i don’t know… plus money’s tight. my dad asked if i needed any today, and i tell him what i always tell him. no. ::shakes head::

i miss my family, but i’m doing this independence thing pretty ok.

my life feels like it has 10 different directions in it, but miracously i feel very grounded. i think it’s cause of my God.

i need to EAT. i’ve been so bad with this lately. like i’ll choose sleep over eating. and i’ll be going off one meal a day. and that’s not healthy. but there aren’t enough hours in the day. and the cafe is no longer nearby for me. and it’s cold outside. and cafe hours aren’t correlating with my life schedule. i think i might buy some type of groceries this weekend.

i need to get it together this weekend.

oh, my baby got accepted into University of Maryland – Chapel Hill!! and i think the brother-in-law too!! yea! go guys!!! hmmm, now who can i recruit to come to school with me?? lol. yesterday was another month anniversary for carin and pj. 43 months huh? almost hitting that 4 year mark. my longest relationship is still at 0 months, 0 weeks, and 0 days. the guy i gave myself to.. he fell off. and the boys that are trying to pursue me.. i’m putting the appropriate distance between. and i’m still thinking about first love – despite the negative feedback from my sisters. i don’t know. maybe (i said this before too)… maybe love isn’t what i’m supposed to be in. i don’t want to believe that. but it’s not gonna be just anyone. so maybe i missed out. whatev, huh?

i need to get ready to get on with this day. clearly i’m still in my pjs and i have to be somewhere at 1. and i haven’t done any work whatsoever or eaten anything.. mmmm..

aiight so back to the real world.


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