searching for a guide through life

::a dream is a wish your heart makes, when you’re fast asleep::

i used to be able to play that song on the piano. we had this Disney songbook and some Christmas songs songbook.

when’s the last time i picked up an instrument??

isn’t it crazy when you remember songs from elementary school? like there was this song we learned in chorus in like 4th grade – Basin Street Blues. why do i remember every word of that song?? and it’s not like it’s been something in my mind all this time. i had totally forgotten about it til i was reading in my humanities book and they mentioned something about blues and New Orleans and suddenly the recollection of that song hit me. weird. i used to know how to play that on the clarinet too.. and for a second, i wished my clarinet was here in my dorm room… ummm.. why? hahaa.

anywho. this weekend was good. real chill. my other half (my sister) went up to her future college for the weekend. oh, have i announced it yet? yes, my little sister is going to be a freshman at Rutgers next year. the school my brother, mother, father and grandmother attended. (and i went to school in VA.. hmm.. lol) you know, whenever i mentioned Rutgers to outsiders (people not familar with the tristate area), i was like: it’s a school in New Jersey.. but now with all this Don Imus controversy, i no longer feel the need to clarify what Rutgers is at all. mmm.. crazy. and this Don Imus thing — well, first of all, even though i’m supposedly supposed to be into news media, i hate when one media event happens and then everywhere you turn, that is ALL you hear about.. blah, blah, blah. but yeah, what he said was wrong. then again, what so many rappers speak in their lyrics in wrong. what so many other controversial media heads and other people exposed to the media say sometimes are blatently wrong. stuff about women, gays, blacks, insert other minority group here. should Imus have been fired? well, since we want to act like we’re being progressive and intolerant of intolerance.. yeah, it was expected of the advertisers to pull. what were they supposed to do? say umm, well, we don’t support that – except financially, you know.. and when advertisers pull and it’s your fault completely, of course you’re getting the boot. and he’ll probably move to satellite, spew more controversial garbage, and deep down hold more contempt for black America. wow. why can’t we all just get along, huh?

side comment: do you know that folks down south still refer to us as Yankees? as one of my friends from NY said: I’m sorry we fought to end slavery and whatnot.. lol.

anyway – yeah, i’ve been really up to nothing major this weekend, which was good. ’cause this week will probably be a hustle and bustle. and then this weekend, i’ll probably be partying. so it was nice to take that break. i really wished i could have hung out with my friend this weekend. but no, i had to be a straight punk. i didn’t bring myself up to call him until Saturday night. and he was going out and had a lot of school work to do today.. so that was that. but maaan. i don’t know what’s up. i was like extra nervous and shy on the phone with him. acting a fool. shameful. this is not middle school anymore. but i dunno. it’s kinda cute, in a way. i guess i like this guy. plus my other knuckleheads are finna get dropped. lol. on the real, i’ve enjoyed (and at times hated) my single life, but i’m ready to change things. at least, i’m ready to take a chance. it’s the end of the school year so i’m really not aiming on any type of girlfriend status or whatever. but an exclusive you and me deal would be cool. getting to know each other.. innocent and enjoyable. but yo, today was one of those stay inside, curl-up-in-the-bed, cuddle and watch movies rainy days.. and i had just discovered making playlists on my Ruckus. i made one yesterday appropriately entitled love.like.lust. it’s my smooth R&B mix and i’ve been playing it all day. but i’ve had no company.

until my roommate came home. seriously, i was enjoying this week having the little place to myself. but oh well… i hope my living arrangement next year works out well.

::sings:: imma be a junior.

man, times flies. i already feel like one, but it’s much better that i’m only halfway done and not three-quarters of the way done. cuz i’m still figuring things out. me and my best friend was just talking bout it this weekend. i mean, i think this summer will definitely be a turning point with having my first internship and all. i might develop the greatest love for the life of a newspaper reporter. i may do it, but not enjoy it much and decide to focus my gears elsewhere. i know that next year i really have to step up my game big time. i need to write more, seriously. and take it seriously. like send my work out. attempt freelancing. get up the nerve to share my work. cuz i don’t. i also need to bring in some source of income. these past two years, i’ve just focused on the full-time student thing. which was all fine and dandy. but funds are running low. and even though i’m getting out of college with no debt at all, it’d be nice to have a chunk of savings in my account. this year was my last year to slack off. i also need to get my volunteer hours in for my scholarship and plus because i really want to volunteer. i really would like to help out in any way with reducing adult illiteracy. i think that preparing adults to study for their GED and helping Spanish speaking people learn English would be cool too. i definitely need to step up my espanol game though. but really, i’d love to do these things throughout my life. i feel like i’m hardly making a contribution in the world, in the community and that doesn’t sit right with me. i also want to join a church family. i wish i would have stepped up and did that this year, but believe you me, 07-08 will be wonderful. tomorrow will be wonderful. today was wonderful. i’m too blessed to be stressed.

well, let me stop and call it a night. i’m hoping to wake up early and start this week off right.


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2 thoughts on “

  1. mmm… i love how your comments never relate to my entry… as this one does to yours. mwahaha. i miss the old days of chorus and instruments…..”yet everywhere… life goes on” — the Funeral March

  2. Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

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