searching for a guide through life

it’s here.

and it’s a good thing i slept all day because i have to be out at least by 6am tomorrow and i’m still washing clothes and getting myself together to pack. if i weren’t as semi-ambitious as i am, i wouldn’t have to bother about any of this stuff until tomorrow night/sunday morning. but i paid the money so i’m going to nyc tomorrow. yay me. it’s going to rain.

sitting here on xanga, i’m really avoiding the inevitable. i have to get ready, i have to pack, i have to get a little bit of sleep and i have to go away. those are the facts. but i just feel like.. i’m not ready — or i don’t want to..

after this weekend, it’s the week of Dow Jones training and then off to Maryland to live for 10 weeks amongst strangers where i plan to work and work and workout and go to school and write and sleep. basically. and i don’t mind not having a life for two and a half months – honestly, i don’t. i just really hope that i get something out of this deal. besides money and contacts and graduation requirements. even if it teaches me i never want to work for a daily as long as i live. even if it teaches me that reporting really doesn’t suit me. as corny as this sounds, i just hope it’s a learning experience.

i’m nervous as all though.

on top of it all, i’ve been having a sucky time in new jersey. there were a few perks, but part of me is relieved that this is all coming up so i can leave. i think i look most forward to going back to school in the fall – even though summer just started and my load next year will be crazy. i dunno, i just miss my college life, ya know. life back home is just… different.

and my boyfriend – i haven’t spoken to him for more than 5 minutes since i’ve been here. he’s away on training. i’ve tried calling, but nothing.. i might not be able to even get in touch with him til the end of the month. and that’s hard.. cuz when i finally do go back to va, he’ll probably be living in maryland or florida. so as far as that goes, i’m not sure… but uncertainty doesn’t have to be a terrible thing.

anyway – i’m in need of prayers so send a few my way!


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2 thoughts on “

  1. i send u all my prayers have fun!

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