searching for a guide through life

best weekend ever —

i love my family.
part two of the three-week-in-a-row family reunions wrapped up this weekend and it was great. ‘specially since i got to see some of my cousins who i haven’t seen in a while and i’ve been missing. almost all the grandkids where they except for my brother, but i’ll be seeing him in like 2 weeks or so. i have got to make more plans to see sedonia when we go back to school cuz we’re like only two hours or something away.. but yeah, this weekend was so nice. a lot of reflecting, a lot of catching up, some reminiscing, trying get over the rate at how fast these kids are growing and just general old-fashioned together time. the godsisters came over twice and we even had a good ol’ sleep-on-the-floor 8-girl sleepover. fun stuff. next weekend: the Hamptons.

but now i’m back in maryland. i got a million and one things to do seeing how this is my final week and i need to wrap everything up and tie up the loose ends. but have i done anything productive since getting home at 6:30 today? nope. nada. mmm… there’s always tomorrow.

to report on the love life. i finally got a hold of Ty yesterday. he’s back. yep, he was away, unbeknowst to me… so i suppose he has a valid excuse. and after telling everyone including myself, that i needed to end things with him when i finally get a hold of him, i didn’t. we’re still together and i’m not quite sure how i feel about that. just hearing him on the phone yesterday was such a mix of emotions – love, confusion, anger, concern, desire, sadness. the bad thing is i keep it all inside…. he told me he’d call in the morning but hasn’t. i called him like 3 times today – nothing. i’m holding up but these tears behind my eyes are stinging. it’ll break my heart to let him go, but being with him is breaking my heart right now. there’s no winning solution.

the only thing to do — pray.




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