searching for a guide through life

i have a jumble of e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g but right now that’s my mood.
gosh, life is crazy. (!)

number one – i need to get my sleep pattern settled. i go to bed mad late anad wanna sleep until the afternoon. it’s no wonder why i feel like i wanna party right about now. i can be such a night person.

on the real though, i wish i had some kinda device to freeze time. i only have FOUR days before i leave home. ::shakes head:: clearly not enough. why?? cuz i went to the house my mom’s supposed to be moving in next week and it is just barely livable. soooo much work needs to be done. a lot of it, professional work, but there’s a lot of work i can put in too – painting, throwing out junk, sweeping, dusting.. stuff like that. it’s a mess. and i don’t think there’s enough space in the house to move in all the furniture from here but she’s talking bout how she doesn’t think they can get a storage space. i don’t even know how in the world we’re supposed to move this furniture over from here to there. can someone answer that?? nah, we avoid discussing real things.

my mom says God doesn’t give you more than you can handle. i believe that. i just feel guilty that i’m moving away in less than a week and don’t have to go through all that.

but yeah, we need more days, cuz we still aint packed up. i keep going over my room and i find more crap each time. gosh.. so yeah, you can say the next few days will be buuusssy.

i feel like i’ve only been home for a minute this summer. and it’s weird cuz this go around i know JUST how much imma miss my home. my jersey. sometimes it takes getting away to realize where your home is.

but i am looking forward to going back to school. i have big, positive feelings about how this upcoming semester’s gonna be. i’m so excited! i applied to two jobs the other day – i may put in a couple more apps. i need a job. i also need to party. HA! i don’t know why but i have this growing desire to let loose.. hmm.. after a couple parties i’ll probably go back to my homebody ways.. maybe šŸ™‚

ughh.. well, let me clear off my bed and get some rest. tomorrow’s a big day. my godsisters get confirmed at church so of course we’re gonna be there.
mannnn, we hung out the night before.. went to see Illegal Tender together.. haha! good movie though. me and christina were talking all the way through it acting mad ignorant. hehe.. we always have fun together. but, even though the movie wasn’t all that explicit in my opinion, why did they let my 11 yr old lil godsis in a rated R movie. i mean, she is taller and just as grown looking as us, but what’s going on with the innocence of our younger generation?

oh, and then tomorrow is supposed to be the last part of the FOURTH family reunion i’ve been to this summer. i never really knew anything at all about my grandfather’s family, so i guess i assumed that his family was small or out-of-touch.. but nah.. turns out i just discovered that i went to elementary, middle, and highschool with like 6 different people who were my cousins. we got a whole bunch of family living in the city that i never even knew about it. my sister’s like, yo – you better do a background check on your future spouse cuz he might very well be our cousin.. haha… but it really is almost like that. cuz i def used to have a lil crush on this guy in highschool who apparently is my cousin. ::shakes head:: wow.

ugh, but yeah.. time to get to bed.

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  1. yeah I understand the whole family reunion and meeting family you never knew you had! I meet new family every year on my dad’s side, its that big…especially with my uncles not knowing how many kids they REALLY have lol…

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