searching for a guide through life

i’m not a morning person.

never have been, probably never will be.

but i’m in georgia now, at my grandparents house. and when i’m here, i feel like it’s forbidden to sleep late as i do. even though it’s not, that’s just how i feel. if i had my own apartment down here, this entry wouldn’t be written until like 1:30pm. cuz i probably wouldn’t have gotten up until at least 11 or 12. but whatever. it’s not in the cards right now to have my own spot. i have to live smart this summer. ::crossing my fingers that i do the right things::

the right things… there are so many choices to make in the process of growing up. so many paths to take or try. we just have to pray for guidance and believe that we are making the right ones. that’s what my baby told me and that’s what i believe. i’m so glad the man in my life has a strong spiritual connection. he’s certainly no angel, but he’s still a blessing.

this summer is gonna be a challenge for our relationship. i did the long distance thing last summer and it wasn’t a good experience. but then again, it wasn’t justin. so far, i haven’t seen my baby in 27 days. we try to text like every couple of days or so.. haven’t really gotten to talk on the phone with him like i want, and he knows that bothers me so hopefully he’ll work on it. both him and i are going through the issue of figuring out how to get our lives in order. and that’s a struggle. but we’re got God on our side, so we’ll see through, some way, some how.

i start work on sunday. then it’ll really be no more late mornings. i think most days i’ll be taking a bus to the train station and then driving from work after taking the train north. talk about a commute. either that or wake up early anyway to avoid some traffic and drive the entire long commute… spend a fortune in gas. mmmmm… it’s only 10 weeks. i keep reminding myself. i don’t want to start counting down already though.. “don’t count the hours in the day. make the hours in the day count.” that’s a good quote to keep my from going crazy. which i do often.

but on the real – i really have to figure out what i’m going to be doing post graduation. i want it to be something i love. something i won’t mind getting up mornings for. some job that i won’t be counting down the weeks for. not just hungry for the paycheck. some place with benefits would be lovely, cuz i’m trying to establish some stability in my life. some place where i do something significant, but fun, with good co-workers to work with. can i have it all? i guess we’ll find out soon enough. in 6 and a half months, i’ll be finished with my bachelor’s degree. and as they say, then the world is my oyster. wow. i’m truly growing up.



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