searching for a guide through life

i haven’t written in a while, it seems.

i’m too lazy to do the work i took home with me. so i think i’ll just go to bed, like now and wake up at like 4 in the morning. i’m crazy/tempted to call my boyfriend and leave him another message. this negro is making me crazy by not answering the phone and not returning my messages. ugh!! but i told myself i just need to calm down on all that. don’t dial his number or send out a text for a couple days and then try again. but gosh, i miss him. just wanna hear his voice talking to me. miss his laugh. ::sigh::

so – the countdown at is 19 days. when you put it that way, it doesn’t seem like that much. but when you put it in terms of four weeks, one month, a whole magazine production… well that does seem like a lot. especially when i’m homesick. i am so homesick for him. flaws and all. i just want to be in his arms.. ahhh, negro got me sprung. what is the world coming to?

haha. but in all reality – what is this world coming to? i read the news and it’s just majorly depressing all around. people getting laid off, can’t get jobs; gas going up; people losing their homes; overt racism everywhere. it makes you just wanna go in a hole, lay up with you loved ones and just concentrate on being happy with each other. cuz looking outward in this world for happiness — that aint the business.

that’s what i’m learning from this summer. above other things, i just want to be with my heart. i want to make it work. i want to be happy. i want to try… with him. ok ok. does it sound like i’m in love? haha, maybe i should cut all this mushy stuff. but that’s my soul, yo.

i’m still thinking about my post graduation plans. but i’m trying not to stress out about it. at least not today. hopefully, i find the courage and the opportunity to pursue something that means something to me.

well, with that.. let me get my behind in the bed. 4 in the morning…. do you think my body will actually get up that early???


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