searching for a guide through life

ooooo.. so many thoughts running through my mind..

i can’t believe there was a fire… and then a flood. listening to the stress in my dad’s voice, hearing my mother tell me that she’s wondering if all this would break her… that’s the worst of the tragedies.

i wish i had more to give. wish i could do more for my family. but at the same time, i wish i had someone around who could save me too.

i guess we gotta work together. my brother feeds me gratis at his job. in turn, i tutor him in math so he can pass his GED test. it’s the little little pieces of help that go a long way. i take my roommate to the store in my car and in turn, she welcomes me to the food she gets. hmmm… why is everything for me about food??? cuz i’m HUNGRY, daggoneit!

so… i went back to my old job today. something i should have done at the beginning of this month. i went back and they’re gonna put me on starting friday. i’m also wracking my brain for other things i can do for money and other options i have to make it through. i have to make it. i don’t know if you know, but it’s absolutely vital, desperate, necessary for me to get through. i have the inherited strength of a hundred warriors. i will be like them. another STRONG woman.

this means putting aside my hang ups. from the small to the tall. from writer’s block to not waking up early to being too timid for phone calls and e-mails. i have to be on my A-game. which means squashing all the hang-ups.

it’s been said that “our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

i hope my light soon shines bright.


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