searching for a guide through life

and it goes a little something like this…

love. in my nearly 22 years, i’ve learned a little about life.. and a lot about love. love comes in many shapes, sizes and forms. and confusions. ideally, love should be simple. i asked my girlfriend today: when you’re just so blessed to have someone in your life whom you love and who loves you back, why can’t everything else just fall in place? her reply: if only.

if only we had the answers, the rule book, the solutions to the sticky situations that arise. like what happens when you love more than one person at the same time? you can love two (or more than two) parents. you can love multiple best friends. many people claim to have more than one soulmates or true loves throughout their lifetimes. but what happens when they overlap? when you have genuine feelings for more than one person at the same time? society deems that romantic relationships should be monogamous ones. and for my entire life, i’ve thought the same. but recently more questions have risen to the surface of my life. over the course of the past year i’d say, i’ve questioned the role of titles, marriage, sex roles and even my dear held concept of monogamy. the clear-cut lines on some things have become hazy. but i’m disappointed to say, i still don’t have the answers.

 what i do know is who i am and what i want out of life. what i do know is what unconditional love is and how to love someone without conditions. and i know that people aren’t perfect. they make mistakes and fumble. and that because love is made up of two (or more) imperfect people who make mistakes and fuck up, love can often be very messy and, well, complicated.

the Bible has taught me that love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. love never fails.

i keep that in my heart when i need to gather strength from love. and i can’t wait for my tattoos hopefully sometime in the upcoming months. hint: it has something to do with love – one collective tattoo that goes across two parts of my body (which is why i used the plural tattoos. ok, i’ll stop being editor-ish now. )

but anyway, love is my essence and i’m having a bit of an issue on that homefront, so i’m just praying things work out ok. please pray for me.



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