searching for a guide through life

i should really be asleep right now. 


i got like maybe possibly 3 hours on and off last night and tomorrow i gotta be out the house by atleast 7. grrr… i’m not a morning person and i love my sleep.

but anywho. i just felt the need to write for a min. im tryna figure things out more and more. who i am, what i want, what’s best for my life. i feel like i let too many things just happen to me, instead of shaping my own destiny. i want to please everyone else and make them happy but really the one who is suffering is me. i don’t allow myself to be the me i am. and it’s going to be tough for me to not do what’s expected of me, but i gotta.

one of the main things is the job. i keep going back and forth on what decision i should make. i mean, who quits their job when the whole country is still dealing with this recession? but i want to do something different. already. i crave stability but at the same time, i keep jumping back and forth because i want to get in the spot where i’m supposed to be. i don’t want to settle.

i think my next blog is going to be a list of the things i do need to change in my life, the steps i need to take. kinda speak it into existence kinda thing.

but not now. sleep time.

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