A*North*Star

searching for a guide through life

I need prayer today.

I’m sitting here, dressed for work and dreading getting up and going into my office.

My stomach is churning, my allergies are bugging me, and if I had better sense, I’d take a sick day. Not just for my physical health, but my mental health as well. I’m just going through one of those days. But of course, I’ll press on and get through it. I always press on. And usually, things turn out not as bad as they seem. But when they are, I still have to press on. I wonder if or when just “pressing on” will knock me down and defeat me.

Us women… we were made to be strong. We were made to shoulder the load. We were designed as support and we’ve been pressing on and enduring since the beginning of time.

But there’s something in my core that just won’t go away… the nagging voice that says… “Things shouldn’t be this way.”

I could be doing better. I could be doing more. But I work hard. I do the “right” things and live a pretty square life. But still, I’m not being rewarded in the way I think I should be rewarded. It’s frustrating. But still I can’t give up. I’m a grown-up, and it’s not an option.

Sigh.

God protect me.

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