searching for a guide through life

I think there’s going to be a lot more of these early morning posts. 

My hunny started school this week and I get up to drop him off by 7:30 since we only have the one car. And for some reason, I just can’t tell myself to go back to sleep when I get back home. So I stay up, thinking, surfing the net, stressing, and counting down the hours until I have to be at work.

I should use the time to work out. My mid-section is so puffed up, it’s not even funny. I really want to lose a good 30 pounds but I can never seem to get the motivation enough to get to the gym. It’s not that I dislike working out. I enjoy it actually. It’s just getting my butt out there to do it that’s the problem.

Just like with my fiction writing that I’ve been unfortunately ignoring. It’s not that I don’t like writing, it’s just getting the motivation to start that’s the issue. And then sticking with it when times get hard. It’s like I could be on a week-long good streak, let me have one bad day or off day where I put off writing or working out and that’s it. I don’t return back to it for months.


I need more motivation and self-discipline. I’m not going to get to my future goals magically, you know.


I wish my husband were home. I feel like I need a hug or some quality cuddle time. I love my baby though. I’m soooo proud of him for going to school and getting on the path to employment. He’s the number one reason that I can push on in times like this. Cuz the day’s just starting and I already feel defeated.



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