A*North*Star

searching for a guide through life

Job searching is emotionally exhausting. These days I feel like it’s really a crap shoot. But nonetheless, I am dedicated to figuring out a better solution for this thing called life.. I mean, employment. At least my honey emotionally supports me when I feel like I’m on wit’s end. ((ie, “baby, I was so much happier when I was a waitress.”)) And I’m praying he hears some positive news back this week about the last job interview he went on.

Crosses fingers for two-income household.

Sometimes I think the root of my problem is that I’m an artist trying to fit neatly into the 9-5 mold. So much that I truly believe the 9-5 life is the one for me. I absolutely crave stability. I’m too pussy right now to do anything that might rock the boat, so to say. And that’s a big problem. I need to know what to do, what’s the next step. I can’t allow myself to just go with the flow.

Ugh. I’m just waiting for all the pieces to fall into place. And really, I keep second guessing myself. Like, what am I really meant to do/be on this earth???

I miss my people. A lot. I still can’t get over the fact that besides my significant other, I have no village here. Maybe I need to start making more six-hour trips to atlanta.

Man, I just want to be happy. It’s hard work.

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