A*North*Star

searching for a guide through life

Well… this will just be a quickie because I want to take myself out to see One Day. I’ve been wanting to go all weekend. Might as well treat myself.

This week off … not really the success I was hoping for but it was nice and needed. My mind is swirling with a dozen thoughts right now… most of which I probably shouldn’t post online but I will… This has been my personal journal for half a dozen years. Shouldn’t let the intrusiveness of the internet these days stop me from venting as I did. So here’s a quick run-down:

– Marriage is scary. It seems like everyone around me is divorcing… making me have a bunch of hesitancy when it comes to saying “I do.” I need some young, married friends.

– One the other hand, I’m thinking of getting off facebook for the sole reason that people are getting married and having babies (more having babies than getting married) by the droves and it irks me because I want those things. I don’t do jealousy well. I think it’s a stupid, useless emotion. And when I see it in myself, I’m not sure how to deal.

– I’m also not sure how to be a stepmother. I have great examples of how to be a great mother but none of how to be a stepmother. It’s very important to me to be as great of a stepmom as I will be a mom, but how I go about approaching being a mother-figure to someone else’s child… I’m not sure. And I haven’t been able to talk to my future husband about this subject. 

– I need to develop an exit plan for leaving my current job/career.

– I need more advice/guidance in my life…. :-/

– I need to start to follow my own goals and take more (smart) risks

 

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3 thoughts on “

  1. I’m married now, and I had some of your same fears, even though my parents have been married 26 years and going strong! Marriage has its moments but for the most part…I love it! I’m still looking for some young married friends, because right now, me and my husband dont’ really have any. Well lemme rephrase that…all our young married friends have kids. We’re the only childless couple! I dont think any one knows how to be a stepmother unless they’ve done it before. Hopefully you and future hubby will get to discuss that before you all get married. So you want to leave your current job/journalism…what do you want to do next?

  2. @HeadStrongChica – I still want to write… just outside of journalism. Maybe PR/corporate communications, freelancing for magazines, fiction writing. I’ve also thought about owning my own business/starting a family business… I’m not sure what yet.Can I ask you a question: What made you decide to get married? Outside of being in love, of course. How did you look beyond the stats and those fears?Follow up question: What made you decide to get married just the two of y’all at the courthouse? My fiance was talking about us doing that the other day. Sometimes the thought of saving for a wedding and planning a way for all our family to get together is stressful. Even though I’d like a ceremony and reception with everybody and all the bells and whistles… I know what’s important is the marriage, not the wedding.

  3. we’re on the same page…I dont’ mind corporate communication…I did it before and liked it alot. I’m considering something along those lines as well…or something in education…I’m open to trying either right now and seeing where that goes…As far as what made me decide to get married?  Seeing my parents and a few other folks around us married and in good marriages had EVERYTHING to do with us deciding to marry. we have a few couples around us who are great examples of what it’s like to be young and married and raise a family in this day and age. That gave us alot of confidence in being able to be married at this age. I was scared yes, but I try not to let my fears stop me from something I REALLY want. I’m willing to take a risk and be wrong about something I THINK I love than to lose out on something great because I didn’t want to take a risk. Marriage IS a risk indeed…but hopefully well worth it if it’s with the right person…The courthouse ceremony was great because we didn’t have the money for a wedding AT ALL. family was mad at us for not having a formal wedding but with me still being in school & him still needing to finish school…the money just wasn’t there and we didn’t have anyone to help pay for it. of course we had fall out from family not being there…fortunately some of them came around and made peace with it. Trying to plan a wedding was VERY stressful for me, especially with money that wasn’t there…and I was never one of those girls who dreamed of her wedding day…so looking back on it all now, I would do the courthouse again in a heartbeat! Maybe in a few years, maybe we’ll have an anniversary party or some kind of gathering for our families to meet. But yeah…that was basically it…I knew I wouldn’t regret the courthouse ceremony…and I didn’t. Just regret not having my mom/dad in law there. That’s it. 

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