A*North*Star

searching for a guide through life

I know, I know. My last entry was a venting entry but man, life is kicking my tushy lately. shocked

My job is so ridiculous it makes me laugh. Laughing to keep from crying. I’m overworked and over stressed for no good reason at all. This mess takes over like my whole life. Life wasn’t made to be like this, I don’t think. My girlfriend got me thinking about quitting my job to do Mary Kay. LOL! Still not so sure about that plan but I do need to develop a Plan B and turn it into Plan A.

At the same time, I’m thinking the “stable” career I’ve had for two years would look good on a mortgage application. I want to buy a house. Sigh. The sigh is for all the issues I have about buying a house. It was only two years ago that my parents lost our childhood home to foreclosure. Come to think of it, a lot of the troubles my parents have experienced in the last 5 years or so have scared the mess out of me. The company my dad started crashed leaving him unemployed — hence my issues with employment security and entrepreneurship. The foreclosure has me scared to buy a house. My parents’ marital issues and separation has me rethinking getting married. Oy vey.

Anyway — thinking about getting a house makes me think about having kids because I don’t want all these empty rooms in my 3 to 4 bedroom house. I do want kids and soon. I’m just worried about what I’m gonna do to support them. I want my kids to inherit a great legacy and I don’t think I’m at the great level I could be at right now. I’d like to stay-at-home or at least work from home when my kids are little but how in the world is that going to happen when I’m the sole breadwinner of my family? Will my kids be missing out because I have no family and no personal community/support system here in MS? Ehh…

Right now, instead of writing this blog I should be writing my freelance piece for the mag in Atlanta. It’s due Thursday at noon and I wanted to have already submitted it by now. My effing 9-to-5 though, I’m telling you. At least I’ve done the interview and already have the piece outlined. I have to leave in about 15 minutes to go about 45 miles to the next county over to attend a municipal meeting for the newspaper and write a story for tomorrow’s paper. Ugh… And then try to finish the magazine piece and prepare for my interviews tomorrow for the paper. And my shows come on tonight. No rest for the weary, I guess.

Can’t wait ’til afterhours Thursday. I’m off for three days. Three much needed days.

Namaste.

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One thought on “

  1. sometimes you just need to vent! those are all legitimate concerns/fears, I can see where you’re coming from…hope it all works outenjoy your three days off! 

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