searching for a guide through life

The apartment is always so freaking quiet when Justin leaves. He is definitely the loud one of our duo. And while I do enjoy my quiet time alone, after about an hour or two it just becomes too quiet and I miss him. LOL

I’m glad that he’s working though. Will be even happier when the paychecks start rolling in. I’ve been stressed lately about money because we want to buy a house and start having kids together. And the stretches of unemployment he’s experienced in the last couple years haven’t helped. Honestly, I can’t wait until we both find ourselves in jobs that we enjoy that provide us with the means to support ourselves and our family. I hope it isn’t too unrealistic to want that.

I turned 25 last week and starting this new year in my life is like celebrating New Year’s to me. It makes me reflect on where I am and where I want to be in my life and how I’m going to achieve that. I think the answer to me achieving my goals is more work, more discipline and more risk.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed at what’s on my plate already but I know I’m stronger than this. I have handled more. I used to work about 60-hour weeks with only one day off to rest, working on my feet the whole time and still had time to occasionally go out and enjoy my life.

I need more enjoyment in my life. My time out of the house usually consists of little shopping trips with hubby, movies, dinner out or house hunting. Which isn’t to say I don’t enjoy those things but I crave more. I was never a big party girl or someone who had to go out every Friday and Saturday night but there are times when I do miss dancing, bowling, going out for drinks, traveling, random exploring, playing cards, playing sports, going to an art museum, something. There are so many things to do in my newfound hometown — even more if I ventured just an hour and a half west to New Orleans. Of course some of that means spending money, which I don’t like to do, but I need to start planning and budgeting for more activities that make me happy.

I need to be more active — take control of my life instead of letting everything around me just push me by. That’s where more work, more discipline and more risk taking come into play. Each day has to be “what am I going to do to put myself closer to achieving my goals?” even if it starts out small like write a couple pages of my novel or read more in my Home Buying for Dummies book or walk to the beach and back. Eventually I have to get out my comfort zone though. And I have to follow through.


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