A*North*Star

searching for a guide through life

It’s time to take back my life.

I feel like I’ve just let circumstances take over. I had a great conversation with a good friend from college today and I caught myself telling him: “I’m just taking it one day at a time.” And I almost laughed at myself as soon as those words came out my mouth. Yes, times have been rough for me and some days all you can do is just take it a day at a time. But not all days. Because when you do that’s usually when life just ends up taking you over. Most days recently have been like this for me: wake up, go to work, spend all my energy there, get home and go completely into chill mode (which consists of vegging out on the computer/phone/tv), have a little quality time with my guy when he gets in (usually after midnight while he’s vegging out to a tv show), then go to bed and start it all over again. Weekends consist of sleeping in and extended unproductive time. The months go by so quickly until the year is over and I’m wondering what exactly I’ve accomplished with my 365.

I talk about what I ought to do often but what I really need is action. I have to make decisions. I have to apply self-discipline. I have to take risks.

Nearly every day I’m thinking about different story lines, different scenes, different characters in my head. I need to write novels. Even if it’s just for me or my friends.

I need to lose weight and get healthier. I need to rack up some moolah. I need to move forward with family planning decisions.

I need to reconnect with some of my old hobbies (music, art). I need to make connections with my community instead of just writing about everything from the sidelines.

I’m ready.

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