searching for a guide through life

haven’t been blogging much at all. whenever i go to write, I just don’t. whatevah

and i should be sleep right now, but … i’m blogging.

yeah, i can’t figure me out either.

i’m actually waiting to cut dude’s hair I guess, before I can go to sleep, but he’s stuck playing video games. he’s been super addicted to playing video games lately. i’m not the biggest fan. part of me hopes it’s a phase that he grows out of when he’s like 40. only 7 more years. ha!

life has been crazy consuming. i think i’m gonna try to give up one of my addictions for the month of april – facebook. i want to wean myself off so much internet use – xanga included – and focus more on real connection in my life. says the girl who’s about to apply for a job opening as a social media coordinator. sigh. catch 22. c’est la vie.

i need to find another job though, pronto. i’m not happy at my job, the commute is terrible and the pay is subpar. these are precious years of my life – i don’t want to waste them. i’m trying to find the meaning in the things i do. focus on what really matters. i need to get my health in order. being overweight/obese is so not the business. my relationship with my love is the most important aspect of my life but it can definitely stand some improvement and growth. i have so many stories swimming around in my head. i’ve got to try my chance at being a novelist. i can’t just let this slip me by.

times have been … challenging. my bank account is scary low but i’ve been trying not to let it bother me. having twin move in is an adjustment but i’m glad he is here for my baby and family time watching The Walking Dead (even though it’s over until Oct now) is a time of the week i definitely cherish. not being able to get pregnant has been a big pill to swallow. but God is merciful. we’ll continue to pray … and try. kiss

my grandmother’s been sick lately. she’s feeling better but she’s still in the hospital now. i’ve been thinking a whole lot lately about mortality. and family. i’ve never had anyone really close to me pass away. and i’ve never been good with death. i’m not ready to deal with anything of the sort.

it hasn’t all been rain clouds. i love going to church, and i’m thinking of actually joining. i love spending time with my grandparents too. my inlaws and stepdaughter are coming down sometime in april and i’m super excited about seeing them and spending time with them. wedding plans are coming together more firmly in my mind, although i’m still holding back on “officially” planning.

hmmm.. so it’s coming up on midnight and my eyes are closing. i guess it means time to recharge and start the week all over again.


prayers and love. 


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