A*North*Star

searching for a guide through life

I’m crying as I’m writing this.

I’m having a hard time with happiness and my emotions are boiling over.

I’m lonely and dissatisfied and discouraged and annoyed and mad and just plain upset.

I know it’s all about attitude, how you perceive the challenges of your world. I should just focus on all my blessings and be all right.

But that’s just not working for me. I have a lot of blessings. And I’m incredibly grateful for the happy things in my life. But I’d be lying to myself to say focusing on the good I’ve got makes what I’m lacking not matter so much. These are my feelings and they’re real!

I hate that my relationship is not where I want it to be. I hate not having friends around to share time, thoughts and feelings with. I hate my job. I hate being overweight. I hate that I can’t get pregnant.

Will I be depressed my entire life?

 

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